To laugh at oneself

Being able to laugh at oneself is a sign of strength. I enjoy laughing, and making people laugh, but laughing at behavior that causes me to embarrass or anger myself is not exactly forthcoming.

Being able to laugh about your actions is also a sign of personal leniency. If I am unable to laugh at mistakes I've made, most likely it is because I am reprimanding myself for not living up to the standards of how I 'should' have behaved, or what was the 'correct' action.

And ultimately, being able to laugh at yourself means you will, in all things, bring more laughter into your life.

There's a sense of relief when you can laugh at something you've done, that you feel upset or ashamed about. Letting yourself off the hook, fully understanding where you went wrong and allowing it to pass with the intentions that you will try to avoid falling into that trap again is what laughter at yourself is intended to do.

'Letting go' is a skill that everyone should be constantly cultivating. I've experienced so much freedom, even in these past months of trying to understand myself better and bring forth more personal expression, by being able to let go of things. When I recognize a pattern of behavior that I've held onto with an iron grip my whole life, and I choose to let it go, I've been shocked by how easily it falls away. When I admit that something isn't working and let it go even though I may not know what will take its place, something settles comfortably into the space that I've struggled so hard not to leave wide open.

Creating space is frightening. It leaves you vulnerable and you may not know what will fill it - or when. Once space is created, however, I've been amazed to see that this space is exactly what I've been needing, more than solutions and immediate answers.

If nothing else, create space so you can sit in it, look at yourself, and laugh. Once I've admitted to everything I've been defensively trying to ignore, that's when I've been able to see it doesn't define me. Only the choice to defend with our life those things that we don't want to hold on to is what defines us. When we take responsibility, let go, and choose a new direction, we are that new direction, not the past.

Humans are so strange and convoluted sometimes. Allowing our failures to haunt us has become some crazy survival mechanism. People justify keeping these memories around so they remember without a shadow of a doubt what not to do, but it's actually not beneficial or necessary. If we've already done something and know it wasn't working, when we try something new we will instinctively go for a different approach. Whether or not habitual elements return to our processes, ultimately we will be moving forward in a new direction and towards a new way of being.

That is, only if we've understood our first approach well enough to laugh about it.

To Laugh

I want to say a little more about humor. A lot of humor these days is heavily dependent on shock value. It doesn't have to be something particularly amusing that’s being said, but the bold and shocking content has you giggling, in a haze of disbelief about what you just experienced. That’s the stuff I like. Why is it so amusing? Well, part of it for me has to do with my logical mind - it loves when something irrational or of a distorted context is intentionally placed for humor’s sake. And the shocking stuff is hilarious because it tests the boundaries of our fabricated 'safe' zones. 

The last few generations are a lot more desensitized than previous ones, which is why it’s not likely that you and your grandmother are going to be giggling over South Park. Raising the bar seems to be happening exponentially in terms of raunchy, disgusting and offensive jokes. So what will this humor evolve into? It’s a tremulous line. Going from funny, to hilarious and slightly offensive, to offensive and sort of funny, to downright offensive and negative, to making you cringe with discomfort because of it's lack of integrity as a 'joke' - we at least still draw a completely tasteless line somewhere. 

There are some tried and true comedic methods that still always work, for me - like dry, British humor. There’s something about it that never gets too inappropriate (a matter of opinion, of course) and knows the perfect combination of human interaction, awkwardness, and word play. But then again, that’s my taste and I know some people can’t handle it. It can be corny.

But you know, I’m realizing something that I have kept hidden for awhile (though maybe more from myself than others since I'm sure there are people who have picked up on it long ago) - I’m really corny. There, I’ve said it. I have corny, ridiculous humor that isn’t always funny. Sometimes I just say words because the word combination sounds funny to me, not the content. Am I the only one that does this? I wonder if it’s because I’m a writer so words that sound funny together are just one of those kicks that I'll get, and everyone else looks cross-eyed at me and thinks I have some mental instability. But it’s true. Banana poodoo, for instance. I might sound like a child, it might make no sense, and it may hold no context. But doesn’t your mind giggle JUST A LITTLE when those syllables roll off the tongue? 

Ah, well. To each their own humor. I equally appreciate good random humor as well as clever, witty humor - it's all about the delivery. And either way - we’ll always figure out a way to laugh. Whether or not it corresponds with an accepted moral compass, we can’t help but laugh. It's part of the necessary balance of being human.