At work, my job is to be with people as they (hopefully) get well. And I want them to get well. When they don't, I am sad, and when they are frustrated about not getting better quickly, I get stressed out. It's great that I have empathy and I can deeply resonate with their emotions, but it really doesn't benefit me in this sort of situation where I don't have any control over their success or failure, and I'm not really qualified to do anything about it other than be there with them.
Or does it matter? Is it bad that I stress out over the weekend because I'm concerned about the well-being of a patient who I have no control over whether or not they get better? Me being caring and present for them potentially helps, so maybe it does matter that I care so much. However, being hopeful that I can affect them only makes it harder when they don't get better - because I feel like I've failed somehow.
I'm definitely taking it too personally but I'm not sure how impersonal I'd want to get. I didn't get this job because it was my life's dream. I got this job because I wanted to take care of people and make money while I'm working on music. So I have to detach myself a little bit. I know there has to be an in-between but I am just having a hard time seeing it.
Well, tonight I am going to flail around like they do in the East Bay, dancing ecstatically and letting my stresses go for the evening.