To Laugh

I want to say a little more about humor. A lot of humor these days is heavily dependent on shock value. It doesn't have to be something particularly amusing that’s being said, but the bold and shocking content has you giggling, in a haze of disbelief about what you just experienced. That’s the stuff I like. Why is it so amusing? Well, part of it for me has to do with my logical mind - it loves when something irrational or of a distorted context is intentionally placed for humor’s sake. And the shocking stuff is hilarious because it tests the boundaries of our fabricated 'safe' zones. 

The last few generations are a lot more desensitized than previous ones, which is why it’s not likely that you and your grandmother are going to be giggling over South Park. Raising the bar seems to be happening exponentially in terms of raunchy, disgusting and offensive jokes. So what will this humor evolve into? It’s a tremulous line. Going from funny, to hilarious and slightly offensive, to offensive and sort of funny, to downright offensive and negative, to making you cringe with discomfort because of it's lack of integrity as a 'joke' - we at least still draw a completely tasteless line somewhere. 

There are some tried and true comedic methods that still always work, for me - like dry, British humor. There’s something about it that never gets too inappropriate (a matter of opinion, of course) and knows the perfect combination of human interaction, awkwardness, and word play. But then again, that’s my taste and I know some people can’t handle it. It can be corny.

But you know, I’m realizing something that I have kept hidden for awhile (though maybe more from myself than others since I'm sure there are people who have picked up on it long ago) - I’m really corny. There, I’ve said it. I have corny, ridiculous humor that isn’t always funny. Sometimes I just say words because the word combination sounds funny to me, not the content. Am I the only one that does this? I wonder if it’s because I’m a writer so words that sound funny together are just one of those kicks that I'll get, and everyone else looks cross-eyed at me and thinks I have some mental instability. But it’s true. Banana poodoo, for instance. I might sound like a child, it might make no sense, and it may hold no context. But doesn’t your mind giggle JUST A LITTLE when those syllables roll off the tongue? 

Ah, well. To each their own humor. I equally appreciate good random humor as well as clever, witty humor - it's all about the delivery. And either way - we’ll always figure out a way to laugh. Whether or not it corresponds with an accepted moral compass, we can’t help but laugh. It's part of the necessary balance of being human. 

Change and the Rational World

If fear weren’t involved, would anyone resent change? Would we laugh easier at the unlikely and take a chance with the impossible? There are many people who don’t like change, don’t like a shifting, unknown, unreasonable environment and will defend emphatically that they are actually the type of person who enjoys life that way. I, however, am convinced that fear is the lone culprit in this matter. 

Of course, I make the distinction between committed and flighty when referring to change. Enjoying change doesn’t have to mean that a person hops from job to job, from lifestyle to the next, from location to the next. But it does involve shifting your life when it becomes clear that improvement, or an evolution, is calling. Stagnation is not the natural state of the universe. 

And as for rationality. I’ve always found that I have a pretty intense love of irrational humor. Surrealism, irony, and complete nonsense can really get me going. And it certainly has to do with my mind being a excessively logical. To say something nonsensical, irrational and perhaps plain silly, evokes a deep mental giggle. I find it releases the tension of my strict thought, and allows my deeper self to come up for air, as it were. I know I haven’t yet found the balance between logic and emotional expression in my life - I’m still heavily weighted in the logic end of the spectrum. But I’ll get there. And I’ll still be laughing at the absurd. What my balance will provide is the ability to focus my irrational amusement into tangible, creative ideas. Creativity is deeply embedded in our playtime with the limits of reality. 

And as for change - I am a big fan. There are a number of things that are comforting to hold on to, and things that must stay consistent in order to have a smooth ride through life. But anything that gives me the opportunity to see life from a new perspective, to learn something I never realized, to challenge myself to overcome a fear that I have - I welcome it. Not always without struggle and fear, but as long as I continue to respond to my instincts, which are infinitely curious what would happen if life could be improved by this or that, I’m invoking change. Setting this intention has made all the difference. 

It’s nice to realize that, in spite of all of my other insecurities, there are some real strengths that I do have. It’s hard to see strengths in the midst of fear and feelings of inadequacy. But even the desire to see myself more clearly is a strength - not all people even let that desire out. It's hidden in fear and defended under the guise of ‘this is just who I am’. And certainly I fall into that category for some things in my mind. I express that I just ‘am’ certain ways and try to maneuver my life to work with the ways things are. I’m seeing, though, one at a time, where I’m incorrect and those things can actually be removed from my persona. Life instantly looks different when I am able to do so. 

What it has taken is the confidence that I want to make the most of myself and my experience. And then, to admit that this confidence is a strength. Although it doesn’t produce instantaneous results, it’s with me for the long haul. The short term obstacles aren’t committed to me, so as they come across my path I will reject being halted and stagnated. I’m going to keep on moving, even if I have to put some force into it and swim around in the muck of my own fear and self-loathing for awhile. I’m swimming across, not treading water, and that certainly is different. Flailing around in place and shouting that I'm on my way to the other side isn’t the sort of irony that gets me going. 

And of course, the love and support of those around me is key. To see how I impact those I love and allow myself to have/be a mirror and view myself from an objective perspective is extremely powerful in my growth. Change arises whenever a new person comes into my life. Each new connection I make teaches me more about myself. In fact, always seeking new connections and deepening those I already have might just be the most important catalyst for my evolution.

Tweed. 

Words

I’ve been thinking a lot about the eternal script of the universe and words. There are people who hold a lot of reverence for the word, written or otherwise. And there are some who don’t feel that strongly about words. I can see both sides, but as a writer I am certainly on the sidelines with a big ‘W’ on my uniform.

But I’d like to muse on words for a moment. So let’s take the opposite viewpoint, to start. What’s the problem with words? There’s the issue of language and not being able to express the same ideas/thoughts in the same way. English can have less depth to it's language compared to others, so as an English speaker I definitely understand the suspicion that there are certain things you simply can’t express in words as well as you can in non-verbal communication. 

An example of one of the other languages that has different depth is Kanji. There are many symbols that don’t mean one word, but embody an entire concept. 認 - this symbol means ‘to notice, or to judge’. It’s clear that noticing and judging could mean very different things as well as relate to the same situation, so this symbol inhabits a large space of possible definitions/contexts. And there are other words that represent an idea but don’t literally mean what the symbols ‘say’. 米国 means ‘rice country’ but refers to ‘United States of America’. Kanji is able to encompass a wider span of human experience since it doesn’t simply construct long sentences with individual words that mean only literally what they say. It gives you a concept and you can interpret it to whatever depth is appropriate for your personal self. We can’t be outside of ourselves so interpretation based on our lives/experience is our most accurate possible experience of the universe. 

What English does offer, though, is the ability to re-work grammar and offer different ways of expressing thoughts - sarcasm, irony, satire, metaphor, etc. Wit certainly calls ideas of human nature loudly and powerfully into existence. 

Definitely it’s about impact. The issue I have, which is why it is common to believe language isn’t as powerful as other forms of expression (i.e. music, painting) is that people forget how much of an impact words can actually have on the universe. It’s easy to ramble, to just talk about nothing - it doesn’t really expend that much energy and there’s a satisfaction in hearing yourself prove your existence. It would be quite a different experience if when words left your mouth, you actually felt the weight of them. 

Imagine for a second: those things that are painful or deeply honest are spoken into the world with the intention of being more authentic to yourself or to others. They fall from your mouth and sink into Mother Earth, as water from a rainfall. They enrich the universe and existence is better off, that they've been said. THEN, imagine speaking in anger, defense and fear - those words shoot out of your mouth directly into the heart of the person you are speaking to. Or it hits them in the head, knocking them over, ricochets off their body and pinballs through all of the people nearby. These words are weapons. And once they impale their target and bounce around for a bit, they disperse into the air, polluting the sky with a mass of irrationality, lies, unwarranted negativity, unrecognized anger, etc. 

Paints a bit of a different picture. 

When I say something irrational, or I get triggered and start defending myself, not because I believe in what I’m saying but because I’m in some sort of mutated survival mode, the words that escape my mouth just FEEL wrong. Many times I know, as I’m saying them, that what I’m giving to the universe is certainly no gift - I am spewing trash into the perfect chaotic beauty of the universe. Of course the universe can handle it, but why should I want to choose to invoke a de-evolution of the universe rather than constant evolution, and growth? 

When I say something correctly, it clicks into place like it was always meant to be there. And in those moments I know I am furthering myself as a human, and I’m furthering the universe. I only want to offer into the world words that are powerful, honest, and truly worth saying. Of course it won’t always happen, but even vigilance makes a difference. If everyone was truly vigilant, words could regain their status, and sit alongside the other weighted forms of expression. And certainly I think that if you combine more than one form of expression there is a potential for an incredible gift to be offered. 

It's really all about intention. If any form of communication is offered with authentic intention- even negativity, pain and struggle have their place if people understand what it is and why they are offering it into the universe- it's valid and beautiful. 

I love words. And I deeply love music. Both can reach into the soul of a person, bring forth their purest essence and help them experience the fullness of their being in the universe’s unconditional embrace. That’s where my inspiration and intention lies.